It is popularly said that, “ It is much easier to fall in love than to stay in love”.
True, many marriages thrive and are genuinely happy, others experience strain. When two individuals first become close, they feel a great sense of genuine intimacy. The love is strong,
That feeling gradually fades and when it does, it can affect the marriage.
You may wonder, why does love gradually disappears in marriages today?
In this article, we would consider 5 reasons for the decline in love and 4 solutions to it.
Why Does Love Fade Away?
1. We always argue.
For some family, to argue and quarrel has been consistent. This couple seems to have done everything to minimize the quarrels and argument, but no success.
That can allow the love for each other to gradually disappears or fade.
In marriage, you can’t avoid disagreement. But, the important question is, how should it be handled?
For a healthy marriage, it is important that husbands and wives should feel free to voice a complaint. Such complaint should be expressed mildly.
Arguments not controlled can threaten the lifeblood of the marriage.
2. We are not compatible.
In many marriages, you will find out that many spouse later regret in their decision to marry their mate.
Some will voice it categorically, “ We are not compatible. We are badly mismatched”.
Marriage does not hide one’s attitude. It showcases it. Therefore, it doesn’t take long a time before couples conclude that they are completely incompatible.
Most people enter marriage with major differences in attitudes, style and habits. Many couples do not understand how to solve or reconcile their differences.
3. I didn’t expect this in my marriage.
The tenderness and consideration for each other, seems to be on the decline- confessed by most couples.
Most couple are terribly disappointed in their mates.
While courting, a man and a woman, may absolutely feel that they are experiencing a dream come true. Years after the marriage, they find out they must have been dreaming.
Naturally, some expectations in marriage are understandable. For example, it is naturally and proper to expect support, love and attention from one’s mate.
Most times, these wishes may go unfulfilled, leading to regret and loneliness.
4. Lack of concern and interest in me.
Instead of love, you will find indifference, apathy in most marriages today. No concern, love and feelings anymore for each other. As a result, many gave up marriage.
One might feel that budgeting would help unite a couple through, as they work together and enjoy the fruits of their labors. Imagine, too, what could bond a couple in a joint venture often dares to separate them.
Solutions To Save Your Marriage.
1. Be committed.
Your relationship with your spouse is not like an apartment that you can escape from, by simply breaking the agreement between you and your landlord and moving out or a job that you decide to quit.
When getting married, you made a very serious promise to stick with your mate, no matter what!
Staying together, is not a sense of commitment. Make it your goal to make your marriage enjoyable, not just endurable.
Commitment should reflect loyalty to the person whom you vowed to love and cherish, not only to the institution of marriage.
2. Honor your spouse.
Despite the difficulties in your marriage, honor your spouse. Meditate on pleasant times, challenges and accomplishments that you faced as a team.
Don’t give in to defeatist thinking by saying, “We were too young to marry,” We never loved each other,” or We did not know what we were doing”.
3. Have a positive outlook.
If you noticed what you see your marriage now is not what you expected, please don’t be discouraged.
The truth is, marriage is not a bed of roses. It’s sweet at times and very hard at other times.
4. Avoid intense arguments.
It is not bad to postpone the discussion until feelings have cooled down.
There is nothing wrong, if you have a mature friend sit down with the two of you and help you sort out the issues. That can be done if it is difficult to talk without getting things out of hand.
Note please, no two imperfect humans can have a perfect marriage. But, they can be happy.