4 IMPORTANT SIGNS TO KNOW IF I AM READY FOR MARRIAGE
Some will advice persons who want to marry- “A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendship, all the enjoyments of sense and reason, and, indeed, all the sweets” Others will say- ‘DONT marry “
True, there are a lot of advice on whether to marry or not! However, reports has shown that those who do marry have but a 50-50 chance of finding “all the sweets of life.” For example, estimates are that over one half of marriages in the United States and Africa eventually end in either divorce, separation (legal or otherwise) or are “loveless marriages”—couples who doggedly stick it out but are miserable.
Anyway, it is not really marriage that fails but people. How, though, do you know whether or not you are ready for marriage? Considering the few points below will help.
1. Some Self-Examination
Exchanging marriage vows is a serious step. Before taking such an important step, it will make sense to examine yourself before taking the vow. Do not make a rash decision, perhaps a sudden impulse.
Some have rushed into marriage without first making an “examination.” The question is, what “examination” should one make?
First and foremost, you should look—as best you can—into your own heart and mind. What are your goals in life? How will these be affected by marriage? Now is the time to start thinking seriously about them because the responsibilities of marriage may practically preclude certain goals or careers.
Carefully examine, why you may want to get married. Are you seeking relief from a bad situation either at home or in school? One young girl confided in her fiancé: “I’ll be so glad when we get married. Then I won’t ever have to make any more decisions!” But, the truth is, marriage does not lesson your responsibility, rather it it greatly increase it.
2. Are You Mature?
Marriage is all about commitment, it isn’t a game. Imagine you just got married. The fun of the wedding is over. It soon becomes day-to-day living and that isn’t easy. More challenges as a married person. This is the time for hard work, because you have to provide for two, even more. Never expect a quick relief, thinking your mate will understand what you went through on the work day as you returned home.
To a youth such problems can seem like impassable mountains. However, mature people have a different perspective. Possibly, they have already ‘climbed some mountains’ and are emotionally prepared to deal with such problems.
So have you truly put away “the traits of a babe” and “become full-grown in powers of understanding”? The emotionally mature person is other-centered rather than self-centered, he or she focus on the interest of others. Ready to make sacrifices. Able to accept responsibility for the well-being of others as well as of himself.
On the contrast, emotionally immature person tends to rely on others for his behavior (and then to blame others for his failures) . . . never maturing ethically, nor putting the rights or needs of others before their own immediate sensual gratification.”
Nowhere is maturity more evident than in how you get along with others—primarily those with whom you live. For example, have you learnt how to handle a disagreement without damaging the other person or your relationship with others? A valuable lesson to learn indeed! It takes a great deal of maturity and insight to know how to give an answer to each one.
3. You Need Spirituality
You need to have fear of God. Be a God-oriented person. Be prayerful. Pray for strength and guidiance.
4. Living Up to the Roles
Many youths also fail to ‘examine’ the roles of husband and wife. For instance, Sally, a typical teenage bride, says of her husband: “Now that we are married, the only time he acts interested in me is when he wants love play. He thinks his boyfriends are just as important to be with as I am. . . . I thought I was going to be his one and only, but was I fooled”! Did her husband realize that being a husband meant he would have to stop playing the role of a single person?
Or consider the 19-year-old bride who wrote: “I’d rather watch TV and sleep than clean house and fix meals. I’m ashamed when my husband’s parents visit because they keep a nice house and mine is always a mess. I’m a lousy cook, too.” Did she appreciate that being a wife meant being a homemaker?
If you are contemplating marriage, why not ask a mature, happily married couple for their comments regarding your readiness for it? Marriage can be a source of the richest happiness or of the most bitter pain. If you choose to wed, what will it bring—pleasure or pain? Much depends on what kind of person you are or are willing to be.